Holiday Woes
by Phoradendron
Summary: The flock has a very interesting christmas eve involving cookies, bombs, and pink. Oh, and mistletoe...  please read and review!


Disclaimer: (I forgot about this part…oh well!) I do not own the book Maximum Ride, the person Maximum Ride, or the two words Maximum and Ride. Satisfied?

Ahh, Christmas Eve. For me and the Flock, this usually meant nothing to them since we were always on the run from Erasers and the School.

Not this year.

"Cookies, anyone?" Dr. M called out. She took a fresh batch of baked goods out of the oven and presented it to an eager mob of half-birds half-humans and an annoying talking dog.

"Hey! I'm not annoying! I just tend to have more sophisticated and elegant needs!" Oops. Hadn't meant to say that out loud.

_You still have to be careful, Max. You never know if_-

I gritted her teeth. Ever since December started the Voice had been pestering me about watching my back.

_You know what, Voice? Just shut up and leave me along! It's Christmas, and I want you to give me a gift of silence!_

Silence. Whew.

Gazzy took one chocolate chip cookie and started jiggling it around in his hands like a hot iron. "Hey Iggy, can I borrow that mitt of yours?" Iggy was wearing a pink apron and light purple polka dotted mitts (because Nudge insisted) and was helping with the cooking. Because of that, he was slightly crankier than usual.

"Who said I would give it to you, huh?"

"Umm…I think it was Max…wait….maybe it was Nudge….well then why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"…never mind, here's the mitts." Gazzy happily shoved them on and started dunking cookies in milk without burning his hands.

Fang had retreated to sitting in front of the fireplace besides a towering, humungous, ginormous, extremely decked out three foot five shrub and a lopsided tinfoil star on top with yards and yards of lace (Nudge's idea again).

"You know what this tree really needs? And I don't mean a new fashion statement, just something slightly beneath that. Maybe some more glitter. Angel, glitter!" A half-gallon jar of glitter almost collided with me as Angle tossed it towards Nudge, who promptly emptied half of it on the poor tree, or should I say, dying bush? She looked at it critically, and then shook her head again.

Sigh.

"Hey Max, wanna try a cookie? They're really good! Iggy says I can help with the next batch! Can I? Can I?" Gazzy bounced up and down with excitement. Not waiting for an answer, he bounded into the kitchen and immediately spilled a bag of flour. I just hope he won't do anything related to bombs…

Angel was sitting on the sofa, delicately sipping hot chocolate. Her big blue eyes looked innocent enough, but I knew she was most likely drinking in everyone's happy thoughts and making herself happy.

_Wow, Max, you guessed right! _

_ Angel, how many times do I have to tell you to ask permission before doing something like this? You could have interrupted something personal!_

_ Um, most of the time that's actually the point._

I guess I'll need to be more careful of what I'm thinking now. Angel patted the spot next to her, beckoning me to sit down. As soon as I did, she plopped on my lap so I couldn't get up then started looking at Fang.

"Angel, what are you do-" Fang started rising unsteadily and walking towards the sofa. As soon as he sat down next to me his face lost that pale, confused look and he turned to glare at Angel. She beamed, then hopped off to make someone else's day a bit more confusing.

"So…how's your Christmas been?"

Fang shrugged. "Pretty good, if you consider staring at a fire all day interesting."

I wish I could know what he was thinking. His face always has that mysterious, somber, sexy look-whoa, what? I, Maximum Ride, the girl who is supposedly going to save the world, the tough one who has never backed down from a fight, did not just say that.

_Max, you can not have distractions when you have a job to accomplish._

_ Ugh, can't you leave me alone? It's Christmas Eve, the one, peaceful serene night of the year-_

BOOM! Gazzy's head popped out of the kitchen and looked around nervously in case Dr. M might walk into the cloud of smoke coming from the kitchen. Iggy brushed past him and walked straight into the smoke. He started gagging and coughing.

"What did you try to do? I knew I shouldn't have left you in a fully stocked kitchen and badly written instructions!"

"Umm, I wanted to make a cookie with a bomb inside so…"

"Did you follow all the cookie making instructions?"

"Yeah! Wait, were you supposed to put the bomb in the cookie dough before or after baking them in the oven?"

Facepalm.

Facepalm. (This is me)

Groan. (This is Nudge)

THUD! (That was Total bonking his face with the wall since, well, he can't really do a facepalm, could he?)

_The irony._

_ Shut up._

Fang looked at me again. "Any Christmas wishes or something you'd really like to get tomorrow? Or, anyone you really_ love_?" He smirked, remembering my surgery and getting high off Valium.

I punched him. Hard.

Actually, I do have a wish, but there is no way anyone can ever drag it out of me.

"Why would I ever like someone like you? You're secluded, always by yourself, and won't have anyone ever like you!"

Fang actually looked surprised, then hurt for a second, but quickly retaliated. "Yeah? What about Lissa? And Brigid? You're the one who always gets jealous! And why should I even listen to you anyways?"

I listened in dismay. Who knew Fang would react like this? With a sinking feeling, I realized that with me and him, this relationship will never work out if it got more serious.

_Don't be sad, Max._

_ Angel?_

_ Look up._

Fang and I looked up and almost the same time, so I guess Angel must have said the same thing to him. What I saw made me excited, furious, nervous, and laugh all at once.

Dr. M had kept a broken fishing pole in the garage, which Gazzy and Nudge had taken out. They had attempted to hook mistletoe on the line, but it was too short, so that explained why a segment of the fishing line was wrinkled. Since the line was too short, they had to tie one of Total's back paws to the end of the line. He was biting on a sprig of mistletoe in his mouth, having a concentrated look on his face so he first, wouldn't drop the mistletoe, second, not make any sounds so me and Fang wouldn't notice, and third, not focus on how high he was.

Gazzy was balanced on Nudge's shoulders and she was staggered slightly, trying to keep Gazzy on while he held on precariously and tightly clenching the broken fishing pole that dangled Total and the mistletoe above us. This caused Total to sway around, almost crashing into Fang.

He ducked, but unfortunately, Nudge got her balance again and the cursed mistletoe was still above us, out of reach.

"Well…" I didn't know what to say.

"DO IT, MAX! Or I'll eat all your chocolate!"

"Gazzy? Where'd you get that idea?"

"Nudge is paying me in cookies." He stuffed another one in his mouth.

"Yeah!" He was handed another one by Nudge, eagerly awaiting the not going to happen kiss.

I'm scared, but I'll face it like a man. I won't kiss Fang, no matter what they say.

"I'll make you high off Valium during the middle of the night and videotape you talking about Fang!" This was even scarier than the last one. I glanced at Fang. Did he really tell them about that "incident"?

_No, I read it in his mind._

Angel!

Fang tried to get up discreetly. Nudge pushed him down again.

"If you try to get away, I will dye all your black clothes hot pink."

He smirked. "Not if I hide them all."

Then it was Nudge's time to smirk. "Look here, I have a string connected to a big tub of hot pink dye (where does she get all this stuff?) that is balanced on top of your door. If I even slightly pull this string, that tub will fall off and empty it on a pile of all your black clothes."

Fang tried keeping his face unreadable, but I knew he was struggling between making a dash for it and risk wearing pink for a day, or the horrible other choice.

"Let's make this fast then." I leaned forward reluctantly and pecked him on the cheek. Wonder what Fang's thinking…

"NO NO NO! That's not the traditional way! You have to do it mouth to mouth!"

Gazzy groaned. "This is gross. Can I go get Iggy to come instead of me?"

"NO!" This came from all four of us: Nudge, me, Fang, and Angel. "He'll ruin everything!" Nudge whispered to Gazzy something about "cookie" and "secret" and "top cupboard" and he happily skipped away, heading towards the kitche…where Iggy was baking….

"Come back!" Nudge cried. "Oh well, too late. Quick! Do your stuff, Max and Fang!"

There was no option out. We had to kiss. Drat.

I leaned forward at the same time he did and we quickly kissed on the mouth. There was a faint tingle up my spine, and it was actually a little more…pleasant than I thought it would be. Fang started putting his arms around my waist and I entwined my arms around his neck.

Nudge sighed happily. Angel was attempting to read my mind again. Total sniffed around for cookie crumbs.

FLASH! We both pulled back. Iggy was grinning like a Cheshire cat and holding a Polaroid camera.

"Iggy...you have a zero second start before I come and beat you up."

Iggy's grin faded.

As they started chasing each other around and crashing into things and most likely breaking them, I was too caught up in the moment to notice a suspicious looking person standing outside the window. He was wearing white clothes so it blended in with the snow falling and was jotting down notes on a small notebook. Later, I realized I should have caught him when I had the chance.

"Interesting. The School would want to hear this new development." He smiled inconspicuously, and left.

Well? How'd I do? Please please please read and review to let me know if I should continue this!


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